OK, I have a theory. Know how people in non-english speaking countries can say things like "fuck you very much" when you buy something from them? Some tourists clearly have had their fun when those unhappy sellers ask them what "thank you very much" would be in English. Stuff like that happens all the time.
So, my theory is that Joey perhaps never learnt proper english. When he asked someone what a computer would be in English, someone told him "girlfriend". In the same way, "wash the floors at Square" became "do programming for Square". It works the other way too, for instance "you make me sick Joey" became "I'm your greatest fan, I'm going to name my first child after you, Joey" (which is why he keeps posting).
Anyway, I'm seriously reconsidering if we're dealing with a very well done troll here. This might be a tragic person getting his daily kick out of this board...