Ok, there's no obligation then.
The "Java is slow" statement is outdated in fact. The earlier versions (1.1, 1.2) were indeed awfully slow. But that's not the case anymore : the JVM has been greatly optimized since then (thanks to the Just-in-Time compiler).
I also do a lot of Java at work (among many languages), but I wouldn't advice someone to learn it as a first language. And I don't really agree with your friend
Indeed, Java is nice and easy but definitely not what a really good programming language should be. It's trying too hard to be foolproof and I don't believe it to be the goal of a programming language. It's alright to have automatic memory management and other things to help the developer. But the more I use it, the more I feel the language is holding me back.
I'd rather recommend learning Python. The clarty of its syntax makes it really easy to learn and the source code is understandable even when you're a complete newcomer. But it's also a powerful language which comes with an extensive standard library. I won't go into details, everything I could say is already much better explained on the
official site