Joey, if you read this, as much as it saddens me to read your post, I have to say this, GROW UP!
That is not such a big of a deal to start thinking of sucide. You are 15 years old, I know what it is being 15 years old, and believe me, you are going to look back when you wrote these things and say, "Geeze, I was such a dork in writing that". I've gone through this stage, probably even worse than you. I almost did walk the walk. So don't go saying things about suicide, because your problems are insignificant to the problems that I used to have. I'm not trying to bash you, this is just the way I am, straightforward. In my opinion, a lot of people here in this board like you. When you were away for some time, a lot of members were starting to worry about you.
One thing that I have to state is that this is the Internet, don't make it part of your life. You may have problems in real life, but your life in the Internet should not interfere with your real life (unless the internet is your life, which I doubt).
The word "moron" is not a really insulting word.
Moron means, an adult which still has the mind of a child. In which case we do think it applied to you, and if you think about the meaning of moron, technically almost everyone here are morons. There is nothing wrong with being a moron. In real life, people have called me a moron lots of times. Where I used to work, I used to be the "Joey" of my workplace.
All you have to do is show people that you really changed, and that takes time. To be a moron to moderator is really hard, but if you can do that, that means that you are a far better person than most of us.
I'm not sorry if I insulted you before, and I'm not sorry for what others posted. Most of all, I'm not sorry for your decision to leave this board, because after all it was your decision. This is just a message board, we don't know you in real life. What happens here shouldn't bother you or anyone else in real life. GET A GRIP! It's not the end of the world.
Being a 15 year old is still being a kid, and as a 15 year old you can still act like a kid. It would be worse if you were a 20 year old acting like a kid.
So, get your act together, and start changing your way of thinking. Showing that you were bothered by the word moron is not the best thing to show that you are actually changing.
I hope you read this, and if that post was really you last post, then good luck on whatever you do, do your best, and Sayonara.
-vvalentine