Author Topic: [FF7PC-98] Beacause - FF7 Retranslation (Merged into Reunion, use that instead)  (Read 361747 times)

DLPB_

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Not really wrong per se(apart from Clod and Scarlet's Gya) but a little lacking I feel.

Old
Code: [Select]
“Gyaaa, Haaa, Haaa!!!
Here they come!”
------------------------------
“Gyaaa, Haaa, Haaa!!!
So they really showed up!”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“You sure treated us like dogs till now!!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“You killed many of my precious soldiers!”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“Gyaaa, Haaa, Haaa!!!
But let's see how you do against
anti-Weapon artillery!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“You guys are worthless,
but my proud creation is great!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“I'll show you the destructive
power of the Proud Clod!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“No way!
This is the Proud Clod!?”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“Whoooooa!!”
New
Code: [Select]
------------------------------
“Gyaaa,haa,haa,haa!!!
They're here,they're here!”
------------------------------
“Kyaaa,haa,haa,haa!!!
So they showed up after all!”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“You've taken us for complete
fools up until now,haven't you!?”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“And just look at what you
did to my cute soldiers!”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“Gya,haa,haa!!!
Let's see how you do against
this anti-Weapon artillery!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“You're no match for my perfect
creation,but like it or not,you're
getting a taste of it!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“I'll show you the destructive
power of the Proud Clad!”
------------------------------
Scarlet
“No,this isn't right!
This is the Proud Clad!”
------------------------------
Heidegger
“Uuuuuuurgh!!”
« Last Edit: 2012-06-30 12:17:00 by DLPB »

WInd Owl

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Heck, if you want a more clearly related example, look at the word "earth". Typically, when it's preceded by "the" it's not capitalized, such as "After years of nuclear war and destruction, the earth was barren and the land no longer fertile", but when used as a name it is, "He got tired of living on Mars, so he went back to Earth."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/earth#Proper_noun

Bosola

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You guys do realize the habit of only capitalizing proper nouns in English has only been in place for about fifty or so years, right?

Edwardian writers used to love their capitals and deploy them even on abstract non-proper nouns, like "I joined the Army to serve my King & Country with Valour", etc. etc.

Isuldor

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Waiting anxiously for R04 here. I can't wait to try this out!  :-D

DLPB_

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R04 It is out.  See the Menu Overhaul Project thread  8-)
« Last Edit: 2012-07-04 03:32:30 by DLPB »

cbudd

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Got R04 now.  I have to say, it is much nicer to read than it was before.  I had always gotten used to the oddities of FFVII's language, and now I would probably have a hard time going back!

I did run into one thing that is extremely minor.  At Aerith's house, when the her Mom asks Cloud to leave in the night without Aeris, there is no question mark.  It is phrased as a question though.  I think it was like that in the original translation, and it always bugged me when I saw it.

DLPB_

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Quote
“Would you mind leaving tonight
   without telling {AERIS}.”

I think you are right.  I have amended.

Isuldor

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This retranslation revitalizes the game like a fresh coat of paint.  I'd wager most people desire a remake of FF7 to see the it modernized with new artwork and graphics.  But personally, my concern is for the story being told and the characters.  With the modifications you've done, you've given a new voice to tell this old story.  It communicates ideas more clearly and doesn't grate one's senses with muddled dialog.

Thank you. I look forward to the day this project is complete. I'll be here to help as I can along the way.

knightsoftheround

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I want pretty graphics AND a retranslation, but I'm definitely more interested in the retranslation. I'm actually more fond of this than I would be of an official one though... an official one would be outright changed to accommodate the retcons the Compilation have created.

DLPB_

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I want pretty graphics AND a retranslation, but I'm definitely more interested in the retranslation. I'm actually more fond of this than I would be of an official one though... an official one would be outright changed to accommodate the retcons the Compilation have created.

Yes unfortunately that is true. Any new remake will shit all over VII.

DLPB_

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Yes I have not forgotten that I have duties here to finish.  Luksy is a little busy with life, and I am a little busy with... life.  Plus sorting out next menu release with Submarine fix and updating Anxious Heart.

Full time will be invested back here soon and I want this finished by the end of this year LATEST.  I can't be here when I am 60 year old saying "Well, we are 82% complete now!"  ;D

This retranslation revitalizes the game like a fresh coat of paint.  I'd wager most people desire a remake of FF7 to see the it modernized with new artwork and graphics.  But personally, my concern is for the story being told and the characters.  With the modifications you've done, you've given a new voice to tell this old story.  It communicates ideas more clearly and doesn't grate one's senses with muddled dialog.

Thank you. I look forward to the day this project is complete. I'll be here to help as I can along the way.

And thanks!  There are still some rough edges I want to smooth and some minor quibbles but I am satisfied with how it has been going.  Using insults and swear words is the thing I have found most difficult... trying to make it sound natural and not use same words.  For example, I am getting mighty tired of using the phrase "Shin-Ra bastards!" by Barrett.  But I can't think up something equally as effective.  Anyone?  I can't use stronger language, and most of the insults I know are purely British.  I can't say toss pots, tossers, pricks etc...  There is 1 use of the word fuck however (by Cid), but that is a 1 off occurrence (and I am making damn sure not to turn this into a dumb "yay swear for the sake of it!" translation) and corresponds to the Japanese used in the particular scene.

Some Brit has slipped through as well like "Do one" which I will amend when next version is released to "scram" or "get outta here!" 
« Last Edit: 2012-08-11 00:54:03 by DLPB »

Antonia

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Just FYI, unless I've been grossly misinformed, the vast majority of us yanks at least know (and many also frequently use) the word "pricks" from that list.  I don't know too many people who'd find that one strange or especially "British exclusive".  So there's potentially one of 'em to shuffle back into the mix, unless that was somehow listed as can't use because of being too strong... which wouldn't seem the case if bastard makes the ratings cut.

There's plenty of others that are rather well recognized most places I'd expect, but unfortunately the majority of those I can think of would almost certainly fall into the too strong category.  If I think of any though, I'll pass 'em along.

Of course, maybe substitute "scum" in there now and then.  While possibly a bit US flavored, who hasn't seen Star Wars?  I'd expect the majority of us die-hard FF fans probably know what 'rebel scum' means, and I'd bet Barrett would agree that yes, the Shin-Ra definitely are scum of the finest order.  ;)

DLPB_

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Scum is already used, so is ass and asshole, lowlife etc etc.  I can't really think of much else....  But even with all these it still ends up with Barrett saying things like "Shin-Ra scum" or "Shin-Ra bastard".  I guess we will see how it comes out and make some amendments to it if it is getting too samey  8)

Thanks for heads up on pricks.  Didn't realise Americans use it.

dkma841

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Son of a gun..? :o meh
Is it just swearing words you need help with?

DLPB_

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It is the way in which real people talk when using slang. Barrett doesn't strike me as the type that would use son of a gun for example.  Cid is...

And Barrett has it in for Shin-Ra, he hates them...  so lots of his dialogue is referring to Shin-Ra in a derogatory manner.  If I keep using same phrases that would be a problem.  I suppose Barrett is the only one I am having trouble with when it comes to this issue.  Cid is pretty easy, he is a walking sewer mouth haha

PitBrat

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Oh, derogatory terms are my favorite: pig, douche, scumbag, pussy, tool, shithead, asswipe, psycho, sicko, twit, gimp, bitch, coward, wimp . . .

DLPB_

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Oh, derogatory terms are my favorite: pig, douche, scumbag, pussy, tool, shithead, asswipe, psycho, sicko, twit, gimp, bitch, coward, wimp . . .

of those: 

Most cannot be used in VII either because they are too strong or because they do not fit character.  Douche would never be spoken by these characters and I think would come across as silly for example.  Pig and a few others are already used.  Bitch among them.  The point isn't just coming up with swear words, it is coming up with words or insults that will fit the character and how it is intended.  Bastard works a lot of the time but can't use it too often.

I have corrected this one :
Quote
“Hey,chump!
   What's the idea!!?
   This ain't no goddamn show!!{NEW}
“Can't you see I'm busy?
   Get lost!!
   Or is it pain you're after!?”

originally I had it as:

Quote
“Hey,chump!
   What's the idea!!?
   This ain't no goddamn show!!{NEW}
“Can't you see I'm busy? Do one!!
   You're just askin' for trouble…!”

original game has it as:

Quote
“What the hell!? You *%^&!!
   This ain't no \#$*&^% show!!
   I'm busy right now!!”{NEW}
“I'm feelin' like there's
   gonna be a fight!!”


Shame about this scene is it is possibly a double entendre....  he says something like "I feel it is coming on hard", intending to be that his fist (?) is clenching or that he is ready to fight at same time as the obvious innuendo.  That can't work in the English, hence why the original game sounds so awkward.  He is mainly talking about how he feels Cloud, getting in his way, is going to be the one getting the fight.  Originally, it sounds like he thinks there is going to be a fight elsewhere, which makes absolutely no sense and is another of FF7's "wtf" moments.

The original translation largely got away with needing to think intelligently about the use of insults because it always used the cop out %^^#^#$^^
« Last Edit: 2012-08-11 19:40:28 by DLPB »

Prince Lex

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"Get lost" is definitely the better of the choices there IMO. We don't even say "do one" in Scotland, it's a purely mid/southern English thing.

knightsoftheround

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So happy to be able to read Cid like he's supposed to sound! I know the guy is far from polite, but the constant use of #@*($&# bugged the hell out of me.

DLPB_

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"Get lost" is definitely the better of the choices there IMO. We don't even say "do one" in Scotland, it's a purely mid/southern English thing.

Are there any other ways to mix up the phrase by barrett "Those Shin-Ra [insert word]"

I have arseholes, bastards, scum [rearranged sentence], murderers.  Can't remember any others but as you can see that's rather limited.  I wonder how it works in real life. I guess people just repeat the same stuff but don't realise it?

So happy to be able to read Cid like he's supposed to sound! I know the guy is far from polite, but the constant use of #@*($&# bugged the hell out of me.

Cid is so much easier... because he uses shit all the time, bastard, son of a bitch, piss, and the odd stronger...  its not as hard to mix it up as it is with Barrett and his "Those Shin-Ra x"
« Last Edit: 2012-08-11 20:03:18 by DLPB »

knightsoftheround

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I think that's actually enough, just be cautious you don't fall into a rythym. Like don't be Option A, B, C, D, A, B, C... shake it up as much as possible you know A BB D A D C C A B DDD A etc. Random like. Which you're probably already planning on doing.

Real people don't think about context this much to my knowledge, but things like aholes (I'm not sure if you mean arseholes or aholes) is stronger than the others, so maybe limit it to certain stronger contexts. Murderers is another one that may be a little more context tied than bastard or scum.

Just my two cents.

EDIT: Man this conversation is hard to have with the forum's automatic censoring. XD

DLPB_

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Arseholes becomes assholes if you select the american option in the installer  8)  I have done a degree thinking in that respect.

No I don't intend to go through random changes, but sometimes it would be good to have a degree of leeway. 

knightsoftheround

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Oooh, it's a British/English thing. I just thought arseholes was possibly an attempt to get around Qhimm's censorship of a-doubles-holes.

DLPB_

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Yup, we use arse!  I have no idea why we differ there with America  ;D  I am not getting censored, so I suppose there is an option somewhere to disable it?  Check your options.

DLPB_

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Ah ok, this is one for those who have played or seen the original Japanese text. I cannot be 100% sure, but it seems that the "scream" Bugenhagen talks about is a scream that is picked up from ALL heavenly bodies in space.  For example the planet screams and so does meteor:

Quote
{TIFA}
“A Star/planet Scream…
   Meteor…?
   …Or is it our planet?”

The Japanese use a kanji that is both Planet and Star.

If it does refer to all heavenly bodies like this, a better name for this scream for a non Japanese audience, may be "Celestial Scream".  I need input here, especially from the likes of Hian.