"terror grips the mushroom kingdom today as a horrific murder shook the foundations of the continent. Mario McPlumberguy was found dead, empaled on a group of spikes under one of the pipes he was cleaning. the 42 year old life long Shroom Addict had not been in good relations with his friends lately, with his own brother stating "yeah, its a shame, but at least now I get to be the star, right?....right?". Mario's girlfriend of many years, one princess peach, had this to say "ever have someone high on shrooms burst into your friend Bowsers place and try to get you away from him, shouting something about cake? i'm glad he's dead". Mario was known for his friendly if disturbing catchphrase, of an elongated "ITTTSSAAA MEEEEEE" and distingctive outfit. a neighbor of mister McPlumberguy stated "when he wasn't high out of his mind he was a very friendly man, i can't believe he's gone.". Mario was well known for his rivalries with Bowser Spikeyback and Donkey Kong, with whom he eventually made up with and became good friends with. "Mario not smart, Mario not fast, Mario not have big muscles like Donkey Kong, but Mario jump very high when barrel rolling at him, Donkey Kong respect that" said Kong after he had heard of the tragic death. There are a few suspects to whom committed the crime, but as mister Bowser puts it "who the hell puts spike pits in a freakin sewer!!!" more on this as details become clearer"
thought you guys might get a bit of amusement out of that
