Author Topic: "My Favourites"  (Read 8740 times)

Joey

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« Reply #25 on: 2002-01-04 05:41:00 »
Checked.

vvalentine

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« Reply #26 on: 2002-01-04 08:05:00 »
Joey, and you want to be a moderator?

*looks at the last 3 posts*

You too, PurpleSmurf.  

Don't you guys know how to use the private message feature.

-vvalentine -_-

Joey

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« Reply #27 on: 2002-01-04 08:47:00 »
Just check your email

Darkness

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« Reply #28 on: 2002-01-04 15:32:00 »
vvalentine> i stress that so often with PS

Sephiroth 3D

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« Reply #29 on: 2002-01-04 17:50:00 »
Ya know... I think our future is going to be bright! (Without them for Mods, that is.) ;) J/k guys.

Sephiroth 3D

"I don't understand..." "You don't have to understand." - Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

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PurpleSmurf

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« Reply #30 on: 2002-01-04 21:53:00 »
darkness: you do not

vvalentine: i do it's just that i put it out so that people know that i accepted joeys request and so they don't pester him about weather or not someone's actualy decided to proofread his story.

joey: ok got the story. read it. laughed a bit. and came up with these notes:

  • use quotes. they are actualy puncuation.
  • you jump in the story a bit
  • are you describing your house in this?
  • the kids whishes at the end of 1 paragraph and in the begining it's "and his wish came true."
  • you over used curious
  • "with tiny streams flowing amist the the tall, dark trees, except that their leaves were dark green, shaped like grass." could be "a small stream flowed along the dark looming trees. Joey felt a shiver of fear flow through him. These trees didn't truly look like trees but more as if the locals have replaced the leaves by gluing grass blades to the end of the twigs." i think you get the idea.
  • [/list:u]
    i have more but these are just to get you started. if you want the rest pm me.

[edited] 275 2002-01-04 22:56

Darkness

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« Reply #31 on: 2002-01-04 21:56:00 »
oh hell yes i do! im always like: "Talk on AIM!" or "Use the PM function!"

PurpleSmurf

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« Reply #32 on: 2002-01-04 22:00:00 »
your calling the ketle black right now

Sephiroth 3D

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« Reply #33 on: 2002-01-04 22:06:00 »
*notices that this is the first time he's see Darkness say anything about that...*

Sephiroth 3D

"I don't understand..." "You don't have to understand." - Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

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Darkness

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« Reply #34 on: 2002-01-04 22:09:00 »
thats because i tell him over aim

Sephiroth 3D

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« Reply #35 on: 2002-01-04 22:17:00 »
That would explain it...

Sephiroth 3D

"I don't understand..." "You don't have to understand." - Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

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