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Miscellaneous Forums => General Discussion => Topic started by: MMiller8 on 2001-05-28 19:45:00

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: MMiller8 on 2001-05-28 19:45:00

There is a man in a doctor's office, and the doctor tells him that he has to lose 75 lbs or he'll die.  This worries the man.  The next day, he sees an ad in the paper that GUARUNTEES he will lose 10 lbs if he signs up for their easiest plan.  The man thinks that thats bullshit, but he signs up anyway.  The next week, when the workouts are supposed to start, he is up at 6 am, and is putting on his running shoes, when he hears a knock at his door.  When he opens it, there is a very beautiful woman, who happens to be naked with only running shoes on and a sign around her neck standing there.  The sign says, "If you catch me, you can have me!".  Once she sees that the man has read this, she takes off running.  After about a mile or so, the man catcheds up to her and... gets his way with her.  This happens for about a week, and then he sees that he's lost 10lbs.  He thinks, "Wow!!!" and so he calls the company and signs up for the 25lb workout.  The next week, an even MORE beautiful lady shows up naked, with the sign and the shoes like before.  This time, she runs faster and longer, and then he... gets his way with her.  This happens for about a week, and then the man sees that he has indeed lost 25lbs!  So, he calls the company, and orders the 40lb workout.  He is cautioned that this is a very strenuous workout, but he just brushes it aside, thinking about how beautiful the woman will be.  The next week, he gets a knock at his door, and he opens it, and there stands a naked Richard Simmons, with running shoes and a sign that says,"If I can catch you, I can have you!"

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: M0T on 2001-05-28 23:55:00

LOL!!!!!!

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Jedimark on 2001-05-29 00:52:00

Very funny, but who is Richard Simmons? Never heard of the bloke!!

Here's a Joke for you!

"Why do Women orgasm?"

"Well it's just something else for them to moan about!"  :)

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Jedimark on 2001-05-29 02:34:00

"What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"

"Nothing, you already told her twice!"

(My girlfriend is hitting me now!!!)  :)

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Jedimark on 2001-05-29 02:40:00

"What do you do when the dishwasher is broken?"

"Take your wife to the hospital!"

(Okay I aint doing any more now my girlfriend is getting quite vicious!!)

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Joey on 2001-06-20 13:56:00

Guess what does this mean:

Men have 2 "heads" and women have 2 "mouths"

100 more to go.

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: M0T on 2001-06-23 03:29:00

Joey, thats a very old schoolboy  thing  go away and hit yourself over your 'head', whichever one you choose.

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: MMiller8 on 2001-06-23 16:20:00

I know which one I'D choose...*

* Just kidding!

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Joey on 2001-06-23 05:03:00

I don't know whether you have heard this before but it's nice.....

There was a girl named Mary who went to Sunday School(Christian) who had a friend called John who always help her. Mary likes to sleep in class. So, one day, the teacher asked, "Who created this universe?". John poked the sleeping Mary with a stick as he sat behind her. Mary, terrified, shouted "Oh God!!!" The teacher heard that and said, "Very good, Mary!!" And MAry went back to sleep again. Again, the teacher asked, "Who is our savior and our way?" John poked Mary again. She shouted "Oh Jesus!!!" and of course, went back to sleep again. The teacher heard that and said "Very good, Mary. You are so clever today.". Next, the teacher asked "What did Eve say after having the 26th child?" And again, John poked Mary. This time, Mary stood up and shouted "If you put that stick into me again I'll break it into half!!!" The teacher fainted

Sorry if this offended you christians!!!

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Jedimark on 2001-06-23 12:19:00

LOL!!! Very funny!

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Skillster/RedSarg99 on 2001-06-23 17:01:00

i will confess, this has to b the funniest thread ive read since i started out here.
it doesnt beat the pop tarts water melon shooter fight over at bleem.com 2 years ago tho, but its a great laugh!!!

Title: This joke will make you feel all icky inside!
Post by: Caddberry on 2001-06-25 09:59:00

Richard Simmons came from america.. and is like almost one of the most Feared men.. If seen he should be terminated with extreme prejudice  :)..

Really he is just a very hated exercise trainer.. he is like flamboyantly gay.. but i dont realy know if he is gay.. (I am speaking of stereotypes here) ( i dont stereotype people ) just going with the majority he is an exercise trainer no one likes that has his own movies.. i think food too like cookies.. probably diet shakes.. and if you look hard enough you will probably find his face on certain XTC Pillz  :) LoL