onna_2
「フン……！！ あなた、どうでもいいけど、人を怒らせる才能あるかもよ」
"Hmph!! Listen, not that you care, but you sure are annoying."
I'd probably translate this somewhere along the lines of:
"
Hmph!!(or "puh" or something to that effect)
You - not that it matters, [but you look like you have](Alt. seem to have, might have)
a talent for pissing people off(Alt. making people angry).
Your translation isn't necessarily wrong though, and might work just as well in getting the point across. Main issue has to do with the "どうでもいいけど"-part, which probably refers to the speakers feelings on the topic(that it isn't really an important issue, but she's going to say it anyways), not a remark on the listeners feelings on the topic.
itmin1
「あたしゃ美人のメイドだけどね
ないしょくで、アクセサリーの売り買いもしてるのさ」{NEW}
「どこ出したってはずかしくない極上の品ばっかだよ。どうだい、ひとつ？」
“True, I'm a beautiful maid, but I also buy and sell
accessories on the side.”{NEW}
“You'll never be ashamed wearing these… only goods of the finest quality here. So, how about buying somethin'?”
Here I'd think I'd drop the "true" part, and rather go for something like
"Even though I'm a [beautifull maid], I buy and sell accessories on the side, you know? " - Reason being the "だけどね", which to me seems to indicate that the speaker is trying to say that the accessory job is something she shouldn't have to do, or something she does but doesn't looking like she's doing because a beautiful girl like her obviously has better prospects.
I added the "you know?" because of the "のさ" at the end, which is basically a meaningless add-on, but still adds a certain flair to the original text that is missing in the translation. You could replace "you know?" with pretty much any English wishy-washy conversational filler though.
As for the "Beautiful Maid", there isn't much you can do with this one. It's correctly translated, but it just doesn't work well in English. It's just probably the girl expressing that she finds herself to be a beautiful woman, not "maid" in any literal sense of the word(maybe she's implying she's a beautifull and ladylike/young woman) - In that sense, it might actually be better to take some creative liscence and change it to "Beautiful young lady", or "beautiful lady", or something to that effect, simply because that makes more sense in English.
As for the final sentence, since I couldn't find any punctuation, I'm guessing one part is supposed to be read as "どこ出したってはずかしくない極上の品ばっかだよ", in which case the closest translation would be:
"We/I only have goods/items(this word is used often in FF, so why not keep it) of the finest quality that you wouldn't be embarrassed to take/wear anywhere. How about one?"
This of course is directly translated and doesn't sound that natural in English. Maybe you'd be better off dividing into two sentences?
My final suggestion would be something like this:
"Even though I'm a beautiful young lady, I buy and sell accessories on the side, you know? "
"We/I only have first-rate items here - You wouldn't be embarrassed wearing these anywhere! So, how about it? Wanna Buy something?"mrkt3
Multiple passages, problem.
「あんだよ！！ てめー！！
みせもんじゃねえぞ！！
オレは、いまいそがしいんだよ！！」{NEW}
「ビンビンに感じてんだよ！！
戦いの予感ってやつをよ！！」
“What the hell!!?
Hey,you!! This ain't no show!!
I'm a little busy right now!!”{NEW}
“I feel it comin' on hard.
I reckon there's gonna be a fight!!”
Definite innuendo to erection but he doesn't seem to be doing anything, is he just telling you to mind your own business?... and there are no signs of a fight? Passage makes no sense as is.
"You!! what the hell!!"(this sentence order is more natural, this guy is speaking impolitely/yankee and therefore a lot of the word orders become reversed - "なんだよ！！ てめー！！" is actually "てめー、なんだよ ")
"You! What the hell (are you doing)/(do you want!!)" might also be a good alternative.
Some people like to replace "てめー" with the term "bastard" or something to that effect, since "てめー" is basically the most impolite way you can say "you" in modern Japanese - Do with that as you will.
"This ain't no show!!"-part is pretty good. But the "もん", and the "じゃねえぞ" is a rude and direct way of saying it, so maybe it should be expressed
"This ain't no god damn show!!", or be creative -
"What the hell are you looking at me for?""
I'm really busy!!"("leave me alone", or "you're being a bother" is probably the implication made by the use of the -んだよ in this case, and should be expressed if possible).
The last part should probably be read as:
戦いの予ってやつをビンビンに感じてんだよ
"I'm really feeling the premonition of battle here" - Is the direct translation - and I'm guessing it's refering to how he feels you talking to him is disturbing, he implying that he wants you to leave him alone or he's going to give you a beating.
How you want to express that in English though is a little beyond me.
My take on it:
"Chump! what the hell do you want??
This ain't no god damn show!!
I'm really busy, so scram!!
I sense you're provoking a fight here!Or something to that effect.
These scenes are outside Honeybee Manor.
「くっ～～ どうしてもダメ……
ここから先に進めないです」{NEW}
「ボクのレベルと給料じゃたりんです。
身分がちがいすぎるです」
“Urrgh… this ain't gonna happen…
I can't go any further.”{NEW}
“Not with my rank and salary.
There's definitely a mismatch there.”
Soldier outside Manor.. He seems to have some issue entering, probably financial but it has been suggested that he may want to have affair and that is what is stopping him? Seems to me that it is just purely financial and that he is saying his salary should be better considering his rank?
This is largely correct - He's basically saying that he doesn't have the money or status is lacking, and comments on social status being too different - This seems to imply that he's probably got his eyes on this one girl, but doesn't have the money or power to acquire her.
"urrgh/ugh/uuuhh... No matter what(I try), this isn't working out.
I won't get any further with this -
Not someone of my level, with my salary....
Our paths(maybe a better word than "social positions") our just too different..."
「おっ、あなた、聞き耳はやいねえ。
{TIFA}ちゃんはムチムチの新人さんだよ」{NEW}
“Heh,you're a fast one.
{TIFA}'s our latest sexy face.”{NEW}
I said sexy face because I couldn't think of anything better with localisation. Any ideas?
"Oh, you're a fast one, aren't ya?
Tifa's our scrumptious newcomer"ealin_12エルミナ
「……戦争中でね。
わたしの夫は戦地に行ってた。
ウータイという遠い国さ」
Elmina
“…during the war.
My husband was sent to the front.
Some far away place called Wutai.”
Japanese says country? I thought Wutai was just a village or?
This should be changed. It says 行ってた, which should be translated as "going" I.E The husband wasn't "sent" to the front, he "went" there. He might have been sent there for all I know, but this is certainly not implied. From the form, it might even be taken as he chose to go to the battleground.
I always got the impression that Wutai was supposed to be a country, or a land, rather than just refering to the village - but maybe that's just me. The Kanji is usually only used like this, when speaking of countries though - Except in a few instances, like in old Japan, where all the districts themselves were refered to as kuni. In any case, the use of the term "place" seems a good way to circumvent this issue.
I'd go with:
"...during the war -
My husband went to the front...
In some far away land/place called Wutai."blin1{BARRET}
「チッ……！
すっかりかこまれてやがる」{NEW}
「オレひとりならともかく
このメンツじゃ……」
{BARRET}
“Son of a…!
Bastards have us
completely surrounded.”{NEW}
“If it were just me…
but I gotta reputation to keep.”
"reputation to keep" originally something like "If it were just me, then...", what does he mean? That on his own he would just kill everyone? I don't quite get what he has in mind? I will localise this better when I know what he means.
There are a few ways of interpreting this:
The term "mentsu" here refers to the concept of face or honour - One of the basic tenents of which is not to draw attention to oneself - So Barret might consider taking on everyone at once, but that would be flashy and therefore he would lose face.
This concept makes little to no sense to most foreigners, as we do not have a "face" culture in the same sense - So you'd probably be better of changing the sentence all together.
You could also take it to mean, that if he didn't have to watch out and protect the others, he could fight all out, or run away - But both of those options require him to not to care of the others, and thus lose him his face in a way that westerners could understand though.
I'd probably translate it something like this though:
"Tsk....
They've gone and got us all completely surrounded...
If it were just me... Anyways, at this rate...."This way you sidestep the issue and still get the main point across.
