Well, first things first, having no real working knowledge of the areas of programming of which you speak, I shall just shut up, tis better to remain silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.....
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I counter your joke with another joke, just as tasteless and crude! (As he said, if you dont like it, dont read it!)
A man is told one day by a good friend that he's been set up on a blind date. He figures, "Hey, who knows, could work out real well." His friend tells him the catch is that the woman has no legs. But he's a fairly open minded man, and isnt going to turn this down just because of that.
The night of the date comes, and he picks her up at her fathers place for their date. He's a gentleman and helps her to the car, and theyre on their way. They go out to dinner, see a show, all the usual stuff. They hit it off real well, he finds her very interesting, and i really glad he went on this date.
At the end of their dinner, before he's going to take her home, she asks if he'd like to have sex. He accepts the invitation, and they leave the restaurant. She gives him directions to where she wants to go, her favorite place she says, and they arrive. She shows him a tree and she says that she wants him to lift her up and she'll grab onto the limp and hold it while they have sex.
After theyre done, he takes her home and drops her off, they plan to go on another date, and he turns to leave. Just then he hears the sound of her father running down the stairs toward the door and yelling for him not to leave. He thinks he's in deep shit now, "Oh man, he knows what we did and he's gonna kill me!" Well, the father gets out and catches him. He starts telling him he's got to be the greatest guy his daughters ever met, and if he needs anything, money, a car, a job, anything at all, all he has to do is ask.
So he asks her father, "Sir, if I may ask, why are you so enthusiastic about me? I thought you were going to kill me for having sex with your daughter tonight."
And the father looks at him and tells him, "Are you kidding? Hell, youre the first guy shes been out with that didnt leave her hanging from that fucking tree!!!"