Author Topic: The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof  (Read 3845 times)

W-Cid

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« on: 2001-12-09 13:59:00 »
Introduction

Narrator: The setting is a small, dark room. Scattered with high tech equipment, typical teenager nostalgia and other assorted rubbish. A computer screen beams in the corner of the room. A lone figure sits in front of it, fully concentrated on the screen’s contents. A digital clock on the other side of the wall reads 3:27am, glowing brightly amidst the dark surroundings.

Andy: (to self) Its time.

Narrator: The figure opens the CD drive, extracts a shiny black disc out of a cardboard jacket, placing it carefully into the drive. The sound of the disc’s revolutions fills the silent room. The computer waits patiently, waiting for a signal, a command, an order…

Andy: (clicks an icon on the Quick Launch bar)

Narrator: The disc drive springs to life, and the revolutions increase, the noise also becoming louder. The screen goes black, and then the Eidos logo appears, followed by the Squaresoft logo.

Andy: Ooooo..little chicken/chocobo creatures….

Narrator: Two options appear on the screen. One says NEW GAME, the other CONTINUE. A little hand points to New Game. The player presses [Enter] and the game starts to load…

Andy: This is where my adventure begins…


Disc One, Part One

(Introduction FMV. The camera pans slowly across a starfield for
several seconds before we see a beautiful young woman looking directly at us. Green embers waft upwards around her face. The camera moves to show that the embers are generated by a Mako furnace in a dark alley as the woman stares into it. After a few moments, she turns and leaves the alley, a basket of flowers on one arm, and stops to stand at a street corner. Our view of her is momentarily obstructed by a massive train as it speeds past through the town square. The camera swings outward through
the dark, dingy square, under a stone arch, and then begins to swing upwards. The view moves higher and higher until the entire circular city of Midgar comes into view. The Final Fantasy VII logo appears for a few moments before the camera begins to swing back down, into a different part of a city. A train is pulling into a station in another dark alley. Two guards patrol the platform. Jessie flips spectacularly off the train. The guards attack the intruder only to be knocked out by her skillful hands and feet. Barret hops out of the train, turns, and motions for another to follow.)

Andy
         â€œWhat the hell?! I’m in the game!!! Err, what am I doing here? Someone help me!!! Get me outta here!!!!!! Arggh bugger it, I'll just play along.”

Barret
        "C'mon newcomer. Follow me."

Andy
          “You heard the man. Move that spikey-ass!”

(He runs upstairs with Andy. Cloud flips out of the train and follows him. Two guards come down the stairs down to the train
platform, blocking his path.)

(Battle sequence with two guards)

(After the battle, Cloud runs up the stairs and meets the
group – Andy, Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge, opening the main gate
to a Mako reactor.)

Biggs
         "Wow! You used to be in SOLDIER all right! ...Not
everyday ya find one in a group like AVALANCHE."

Jessie
         "SOLDIER? Aren't they the enemy?"
         "What's he doing with us in AVALANCHE?"

Andy
          “Buggered if I know. Probably for the money.”

Biggs
         "Hold it, Jessie. He WAS in SOLDIER."
         "He quit them and now is one of us."
         "Didn't catch your name..."

(The PLAYER names Cloud)

Cloud
         "...Cloud."

Andy
          “Nice name, shame about the hair.”

Biggs
         "Cloud, eh? I'm..."

Cloud
        "I don't care what your names are. Once this job's over... I'm outta here."

Andy
         (mutters) “Sheesh….no respect I tell ya…”

(Barret comes running up from offscreen.)

Barret
         "The hell you all doin'!? I thought I told you never to move in a group!"
         "Our target's the North Mako Reactor. We'll meet on the bridge in front of it."

(The group heads through the gate. Barret stops and turns to face Cloud.)

         "Ex-SOLDIER, huh? Don't trust ya!"

(The PLAYER names Barret)

Barret
         "If you push the Directional button while pushing the [CANCEL] button to run. (earlier marked X)"

Andy
         (thinks) “Pre-requisite of AVALANCHE: an extensive knowledge of Playstation controls.”

(FMV sequence. The camera swings to show the Shinra headquarters towering
above as Cloud following Barret through the
gate. Cloud follows the others to the Reactor. Wedge stays on the bridge in front of the reactor as the others head inside.)

Wedge
         "I'll secure the escape passage. Concentrate on the
mission, Cloud."

Andy
         â€œSecure it, all right. Who’s going to be able to fit through there?”

Wedge
         "Geez, we're really gonna blow this huge furnace
up? This'll be somethin' to see!"

(Cloud follows the others into the Reactor.)

Barret
         "Yo! This your first time in a reactor?"

Andy
         â€œYo! Sorry, just had to say that.”

Cloud
         "No. After all, I did work for Shinra, y'know."

Barret
         "The planet's full of Mako energy. People here use it
every day."
         "It's the life blood of the planet. But Shinra keeps suckin' the
blood out with these machines."

Cloud
         "I'm not here for a lecture. Let's just hurry."

Andy
         â€œMe either. Get to the point.”

Barret
         "That's it! You're comin' with me from now on."

(Barret joins Cloud. The group works through the locked doors deeper inside the reactor.)

Jessie
         "Biggs and I got the code for this door."

Biggs
         "Code deciphered"

Andy
         â€œIs there a logical point deciphering a code you already have?”

(They go through the door.)

Biggs
         "Think how many of our people risked their lives, just for this code..."

Jessie
         "Code deciphered"

(They go through the door and work deeper into the reactor. Biggs stays at the door. They enter an elevator)

Jessie
         "Push that button over there!"

(Cloud presses the button. The elevator starts moving.)

Barret
         "Little by little the reactors'll drain out all the life. And
that'll be that."

Cloud
         "It's not my problem."

Andy
         â€œI second that.”

Barret
         "The planet's dyin', Cloud!"

Cloud
         "The only thing I care about is finishin' this job before
security and the Roboguards come."

Andy
         â€œSo Roboguards aren’t security?

(Barret turns away, shaking with anger, then looks back over his shoulder at Cloud and rejoins him. The elevator stops and
Jessie gets off. They continue into the reactor.)

Jessie
         "Push the [OK] button in front of a ladder to grab on to it.
After that, use the [Directional button] to move up and down."

Andy
         â€œI see neither of those buttons remotely closeby. How about just grab hold of the ladder and climb?”

(Jessie stays behind. Cloud, Barret and Andy continue to the reactor core.)

Barret
         "When we blow this place, this ain't gonna be nothin' more
than a hunka junk."
         "Cloud, you set the bomb."

Cloud
         "Shouldn't you do it?"

Andy
         â€œMe! Me! Pick me!”

Barret
         "Jus' do it! I gotta watch to make sure you don't pull nothin'."

Andy
         â€œJeez! You two aren’t any fun!”

Cloud
         "Fine, be my guest."

(As Cloud moves to set the bomb, the screen dims and something speaks into his mind.)

         Watch out!
         This isn't just a reactor!!

Andy
         â€œYeah it is. Unless its one of those magic flying Gardens from FF8.”

(It stops abruptly.)

Barret
         "...What's wrong?"

Cloud
         "Huh?"

Andy
         â€œI beg your pardon?”

Barret
         "What's wrong, Cloud? Hurry it up!"

Cloud
         "Yeah, sorry."

Andy
         â€œDamn right you sorry!”

(Cloud sets the bomb. An alarm begins to sound and red lights
flash.)

Barret
         "Heads up, here they come!"

Andy
         â€œWho’s com—Arghhh!! Scorpion!!!”

(Boss battle with Guard Scorpion)

Cloud
         "Come on, let's get outta here!"

         Ten minutes to detonation!

Andy
         â€œErr…..who just said that?!”

(They rush back out through the reactor until they meet up with Jessie where she had stayed behind. She has one leg caught in the grate she's standing on.)

Cloud
         "You all right?"

Jessie
         "My leg got stuck."

(Cloud pulls her out.)

Andy
         â€œShe said her leg, you buffoon!”

Jessie
         "Thanks!"

(They continue to hurry out of the reactor.)

Biggs
         "Let's go!"

Andy
         â€œOooo! Can I crack the code?”

Jessie
         "Code deciphered"

Andy
         â€œFine, Ms. Smarty Pants. But I bags the ID card making!”

(They go through the door.)

Jessie
         "Alright, be careful."

Biggs
        "Code deciphered"

(They go through the door and exit the reactor. On the way out, Jessie falls. Cloud helps her up and they sprint away. FMV sequence. The reactor emits a ring of fire as it explodes spectacularly against the night sky.)

Disc One, Part Two

(Cloud, Barret, Andy, Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie are in a dark tunnel littered with debris and broken metal.)

Biggs
         "That should keep the planet going... at least a little longer."

Wedge
         "Yeah."

Barret
         "........."

(Jessie plants an explosive against the pile of debris blocking their exit.)

Jessie
         "OK! Now everyone get back."

Andy
         â€œYou want me to —“

(They stand back and a wall explodes, opening a way to a courtyard. Wedge's butt seems to be on fire. Andy is covered in soot.)

Andy
         â€œâ€”get back. Ouch.”

Barret
         "All right, now let's get out of here."
         "Rendezvous at Sector 8 station! Split up and get on the train!"

(They all exit except Barret, Andy and Cloud.)

Cloud
         "H, hey!"

Andy
         â€œW, what?”

Barret
         "If it's about your money save it 'til we're back at the hideout."

(Barret exits. Cloud goes after him into the streets of Midgar. Andy is still stunned by the explosive blast.)

Disc One, Part Three

(A few people are running around a street corner, bumping into a woman standing there, knocking her down. She stands up and calmly brushes herself off. Cloud and Andy enter.)

Flower girl
         "Excuse me."
         "What happened?"

 
         You'd better get out of here
         Nothing... hey, listen...

***Cloud
         Nothing... hey, listen...
         "........."

 
         Don't see many flowers around here
         Never mind

***Cloud
         Don't see many flowers around here

Flower girl
         "Oh, these? Do you like them? They're only a gil....?"

Andy
         â€œOnly a gil?!? Lady, that’s a pretty bad profit margin.”
 
         Buy one
         Forget it

***Cloud
         Buy one

Flower girl
         "Oh, thank you!"
         "Here you are!"
 

(She gives Cloud a flower and walks off. Cloud continues through the streets of Midgar. Andy follows.)

People on the street
         "Just what the hell's going on!?"

Andy
         â€œNone of your slummy business.”

         "Wonder what that is on the wall over there. Let's see..."
         Don't be fooled by Shinra! Mako energy doesn't last forever! Mako
is the planet's lifesource! The end is in sight!
         Protectors of the planet: AVALANCHE

Andy
         â€œNice graffiti work. Pity they haven’t advertised on public transport yet.”

(Cloud reaches a dark street. A soldier patrolling the area spots him. Andy ducks out of sight.)

Soldier
         "Hey! You there!"

Andy
         â€œPhew! Lucky I brought my disguise today…”

Cloud
         "Shinra soldiers..."

 
         Fight them
         Leave

Cloud
         Fight them

(Three battles with Shinra soldiers. After the third battle, Cloud is
surrounded.)

Soldier
         "That's as far as you go."

Cloud
         "I don't have time to be messin' around with you guys."

Andy
         â€œMe neither. In fact, I don’t know why I’m ev—“

Soldier
         "Enough babbling! Grab him!"

Andy
         â€œMe?!”

(The soldiers close in. Cloud backs away, but his path is blocked as he reaches a railing. Below him are the train tracks. FMV sequence. Cloud jumps off the balcony onto the train as it rushes by. Andy follows suit.)

----------------------

That's so far...more to come!

ficedula

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« Reply #1 on: 2001-12-09 14:21:00 »
Pity it isn't readable ... someone's messed up their control codes again!

BTW, welcome back WCid :wink:

MMiller8

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« Reply #2 on: 2001-12-09 15:31:00 »
Acronym of the day:  OMG
Oh My God
Used to express disbelief, amazement, or perhaps ridicule.

MMiller8

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« Reply #3 on: 2001-12-10 01:32:00 »
Also:  While we're on about FF stories, I'd like to give you a few links to interesting ones.
One is on a messageboard:
Liberi Tenibri
This one sounds bizzare, but it is strangely captivating.  It is FFVIII with a twist;  all of the charachter's genders have been switched.  Squall is a woman, and Selphie is a man.  Strange, huh?  Anyway, it is handled very tastefully.  Worth a look.

Also, I noticed that the author of the online comic 'Real Life' is writing a book.  It is really good, so give this one a look for sure.  Unfortunately, only the intro and chapter one are up.
Portal

I'm sure you'll enjoy at least one!

Sephiroth 3D

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« Reply #4 on: 2001-12-10 08:00:00 »
I liked it! Very funny.

*Begins to wonder why WCid hasn't posted anything about the storyline lately...*

Hey! I have an excuse... I've been busy trying to pass school. I can understand if your excuse is similar in nature... :wink:

Sephiroth 3D

"I don't understand..." "You don't have to understand." - Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within

Sephiroth 3D.com
[email protected]

W-Cid

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The Midgar Blues - A FFVII spoof
« Reply #5 on: 2001-12-10 12:51:00 »
Thanks all. I apologise about all those frippin' weird symbols, aparently the phpBB and the font I typed the Midgar Blues in are incompatible. They are supposed to be talking marks by the way!

Sephy 3D - About the story.....I guess I haven't been around, I'm really sorry for being slack. I will check out the storyline forum now!

I have heaps more of this, and will post up soon, just have to fix all that crappy symbolness up first....