I've never had a BSoD. Ever.
I've hardly ever had any virus problems either; there've been a couple of times when I've been taken off guard but was able to clear it up myself, and my first PC had some adware, but I've never had any of the problems you see in those mac ads.
TrueNuff TV has some responses to those ads, which I'm sure most of us have seen already.
Mind you, I didn't get my own PC until 2003 (my family was backwards with technology), so perhaps I missed out on the joys of the worst days of Windows.
Anyway, I have the worst of both worlds. My parents demand advice from me, ignore it, then blame me for whatever happens next regardless.
I have the best of both worlds.

My dad has never used a computer, which is a blessing, but I have an auntie and uncle who are the classic example of a computer retarded family. Apparently, they spent £1200 on their last system (pre-built, of course), but AFAIK they don't do anything with it that they couldn't do with a netbook (srsly: they play very basic games like 3D Tetris, use email, write letters and shop online; nothing more). Naturally, their computers spend more time being repaired and having viruses removed than they do being used. I sometimes wonder whether it would be a good idea to ask them for their old computers when they get rid of them (they're the types to throw whole systems away), fix all of the problems (which are likely to be easy to fix; I think there's a good chance that the staff at the repair shop they go to see them as easy marks and rip them off) and either use them myself or sell them.
I once used their computer and googled something; autocomplete showed me that they (probably my uncle) had been searching for terms such as "naked people". If it weren't for the fact that they obviously had no idea what they were doing, I'd have sworn they were trolling me; who the hell looks for porn by googling "naked people"? Well, it probably explains why their computers get so many viruses...
Does anyone else have fun stories about technologically retarded friends and family?
